IAN HERBERT: Nobby Stiles was failed by football as he battled Alzheimer’s

Nobby Stiles never wanted a fuss, so it was with modesty and reserve that his family patiently and precisely described the way that football had done so precious little to help him through the desperate struggles of his fading years.

Stiles had been doing battle with Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia for 15 years by then, to the extent that his mind had become terribly frayed and visits to his modest semi-detached house on Kings Road in Stretford were not easy, if he was having one of his bad days. 

One of Bobby Charlton’s visits to his old friend was particularly distressing for both of them. In time, Stiles just could not could bring himself to see people.

Nobby Stiles’ family, which included wife Kay (right of Nobby), were failed by football as he was given little help from the game as he battled with Alzheimer’s until his death on Friday

Stiles, who died aged 78, was part of the England team which won the World Cup in 1966

The need for a helping hand and – though the Stiles family would never say so – a little help with respite care was blindingly obvious. When the FA got in touch in 2016, the 50th anniversary of the 1966 World Cup triumph, to say they were aware a number of Sir Alf Ramsey’s team were not so well, the family admitted that things had not been so easy. 

There was a bleak follow-up phone call from the governing body, in which Stiles wife Kay was told that there was a means tested scheme, with an application form if she wanted to fill it in and apply for money. She declined.

Stiles was not aware of this. The illness had robbed him of the mere capacity to speak, let alone read letters, though there were fragments of the old sense of humour so loved by Charlton, Shay Brennan and David Herd: the ‘Big Four’ as they ironically called themselves. Amid the struggle to recall who he’d spoken to just five minutes earlier, Stiles once grinned at his son, Rob. ‘I make new friends every day,’ he told him.

The expressions of support and regret flowed on Friday night from the Professional Footballers’ Association and Stiles’ beloved Manchester United. But neither were there for him, either, when he was on his uppers, struggling and trying to find a way after the glories of his playing days.

There had been virtually no communication from United after Stiles left a coaching role in 1993. 

He inquired about tickets once, wanting to accompany his granddaughter, Caitlin, to her first Old Trafford match, against Liverpool on her birthday in 2009. He was told he must pay full price.

Stiles was in the Man United side which became the first English club to win the European Cup

There was a request from United to film and do interviews when the street next to the school he attended – St Patrick’s Primary in Collyhurst – was renamed as Nobby Stiles Drive. Stiles’ wife was disinclined to grant that request. One of the very few other occasions when they had been in touch was to request Stiles to do a dinner for them, for free.

To hear all this – and then learn of the family’s deep unhappiness that the PFA did so little to advance an understanding of the links between heading a football and dementia in Stiles’ lifetime – makes the blood boil, though United could do no wrong in his eyes.

He shed tears in 2010 when announcing he would be auctioning his World Cup medal and the shirt from the final worn by the late Alan Ball, which he swapped for his own at the final whistle. 

‘I have had a bit of bad time and I want to leave something for my family,’ he said at that time.

Perhaps it took the perspective of decades to appreciate what Stiles represented, because one piece of correspondence from one of the modern United generation meant a lot to him and his family amid the struggle. 

Stiles (left) won the World Cup with Jack Charlton and Sir Bobby Charlton after they beat West Germany in 1966. By the end, Stiles found it hard to have friends visit due to his Alzheimer’s 

It was a card from Wayne Rooney, written out by the player after Stiles’ sons had made his condition public in 2015 and asked for privacy as they tried to help their mother.

No regrets, Stiles would have said. Football was a great life to have lived. In the depths of his struggles his son, Rob, located a supply of DVDs of the old United games in which the Holy Trinity of George Best, Denis Law and Bobby Charlton relied on Stiles to flush out opposition danger. And to their astonishment, he responded. 

‘Great player, son, great player,’ Stiles said of Peter Osgood, prominent for Chelsea on one of the tapes. ‘We had a job dealing with him.’