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Mimi-Isabella Cesar is one of the poster girls for the Commonwealth Games in Birmingham. A born-and-bred Brummie, the rhythmic gymnast has been on billboards promoting the 2022 event, which she helped her home city win the right to host.
For Cesar, competing for England at the Arena Birmingham, just six miles from her house, would mean the ‘absolute world’. Only the 25-year-old now fears that poster will be her biggest involvement after being ‘bullied out of the sport’.
As a younger gymnast, Cesar suffered so much mental abuse that she kept a diary of the hurtful comments. The former national champion was called ‘fat’ and a ‘failure’ by coaches, while a judge once said she had ‘disgusting thighs’ after she won an event at 16.
Mimi-Isabella Cesar has revealed the awful abuse she has suffered in her gymnastics career
Now, though, Cesar claims the body shaming has turned to a different kind of bullying: ageism. It is a new form of complaint against British Gymnastics, who are already the subject of an independent review into the alleged mistreatment of athletes.
‘When you get to 21, you are less likely to be manipulated and controlled, so it is like there is a mission to get rid of the older gymnasts so they don’t say anything,’ Cesar tells Sportsmail from her garden in Birmingham.
‘I have been told the problem with me is I have “worked them out”. It is age discrimination. I have literally been told that I am too old, that I need to give up.’
Cesar represented England at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow in 2014 and the Gold Coast in 2018. But with the carrot of a home Games, she carried on to Birmingham and entered British Qualifying Testing last year. ‘Since I was 12, I’ve not failed this test,’ she says. ‘And lo and behold, in 2019 they failed me.
‘That was after I had comments like, “You need to go and get a life”, “Your time is over”, “You will never be in a leotard in Birmingham”, “What if you end up in a wheelchair?” The people saying these things were picking the squad. They had written the journey for me. The sport is so subjective, it’s easy to manipulate who you want on the team.’
The British gymnast has been on billboards promoting Birmingham 2022 but fears missing out
Cesar was told she could not appeal, so she wrote a letter of complaint to British Gymnastics chief executive Jane Allen, which was ignored until she started cold-calling her office.
‘My complaint probably wouldn’t have been addressed if I hadn’t followed it up constantly,’ says Cesar. ‘I caught her off guard, she answered and said, “I will pass your complaint down”, but it got passed to the people I was complaining about. It wasn’t dealt with seriously. I had nowhere else to turn. It was a cry for help – and I didn’t get help.’ Cesar argued her way into competing at the trials in November. She finished in the top six but, even though six girls were selected for the England squad, she was not one of them.
‘Girls ranked below me in that trial were named in the squad,’ she says. ‘I felt like it was because I made a complaint and this was their way of retaliating, saying, “We are still in control”.’
Cesar points out she is the same age as Russian rhythmic gymnast Ekaterina Selezneva, who won two golds at last year’s World Championships.
‘I’m getting better, I have so much more to give,’ she insists. ‘I’m at my best because psychologically I’m strong now. Before, I allowed people to get in my head and present opinions of me and make me feel that was who I was. I struggled with self-belief from constantly being told I was not good enough or not the right body shape. I felt worthless, it took away from anything I achieved.
Cesar was impressive at the Gold Coast 2018 Commonwealth Games but now feels pushed out
‘Only in the last couple of years, I have been able to go, “Actually, you were never that”. They called me “emotionally unstable” — but they made me that way.’
That mental manipulation of younger gymnasts is one of the reasons there have been calls for the minimum age of female participants to be raised from 16 to 18. ‘It’s easier as a younger person to subside to the abuse and not even know that it’s happening,’ says Cesar, speaking about her treatment for the first time. ‘I couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t know where to turn.
‘I was too scared to tell my parents because I knew if they said anything, I would probably have to deal with it in the next training session 10 times worse.
‘I almost turned on my mum because I was told she was a liar. My coach would say, “Look at your mum, she is spinning her cauldron upstairs in the viewing gallery”. I hate that I ever thought that. I started writing a diary at 14. If it was a bad session, I would write down what had happened and what was said – I have not read a nice entry.’
Of all the comments that were made about her body, the one which haunts Cesar the most came after what should have been one of her proudest moments, winning a national competition at 16. ‘Just before the presentation, the judge said, “There was nothing wrong with your routine but your thighs are disgusting”. My feelings about the competition instantly changed. Standing on the podium, getting my medal was the most humiliating couple of minutes of my life. All I could think was my fat thighs were on show.
Cesar recalls how one judge at a national competition described her thighs as ‘disgusting’
‘That comment will stay with me for ever. If someone says to me, “What would you change about yourself?” I say my thighs even though I know they’re normal. I saw a psychologist and she said, “I don’t know any other athlete that would have been through that and still be in the sport”.’
Cesar’s account, the latest to come from a female gymnast this month, heaps further pressure on Allen, who has been in her role at the scandal-hit governing body for 10 years. ‘The buck lies with her,’ says Cesar. ‘She needs to address what has happened, not pretend she didn’t know there were issues. She knew I was feeling bullied out of the sport and it wasn’t taken seriously.
‘The complaints system needs to be addressed. They can’t get away with it any more. The organisation needs to change.’
Cesar does not know what her future holds but has not given up on being on the floor in Birmingham. However, such is the culture of fear in British Gymnastics, she’s ‘scared’ about the repercussions of giving this interview.
Cesar’s complaint to British Gymnastics was passed down by chief executive Jane Allen
‘I don’t want to accept it’s over,’ Cesar adds. ‘It’s still the dream way I want to finish my career. All I want is a fair opportunity at making the squad. I’m scared as to what happens next. But with everybody being brave enough to share their story, I felt compelled. I have a duty to the sport.
‘If I didn’t say anything, I wouldn’t just be letting myself down, but every little girl who wants to make it as a rhythmic gymnast. I don’t want anyone to go through what I have done.’
A British Gymnastics spokesperson said: ‘We condemn any behaviour which is harmful to the wellbeing of our gymnasts.
‘Any gymnast who feels they have been mistreated should report it to our Integrity Unit and will also be able to disclose these to the Independent Review or call the British Athletes Commission/NSPCC free helpline on 0800 056 0566.’
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